When I began my training as a parent coach in January 2018, one of the first assignments was to set intentions for myself and my children. I was asked to consider what I was looking for in my personal transformation as a parent, and what I would like my children to receive and integrate for themselves. With some time and experience under my belt, I thought I’d look back at those intentions to see whether they resonate today.
First, I was asked to consider my current state of BEING with my children and identify what qualities I’d like to embody as my new state of BEING. I chose Compassionate, Calm, Kind, Non-Judgmental, Listening without Fixing, and Trustworthy. With those in mind, I set my intention for my personal transformation to embody Calm, Patience and Honesty through my experience of Conscious Parenting.
I’ve kept these qualities in mind over the last 13 months, and they definitely resonate today. Compassion, Calm, Kindness and Trustworthiness come fairly naturally to me, it seems. I continue to struggle a bit, however, with Listening without Fixing and Withholding Judgment.
I am a mama bear who hates to see her children unhappy. In the last year, I’ve come to understand very clearly that a little bit of unhappiness or discomfort is necessary for growth and maturity. My goal, as a conscious parent, is to listen empathically to my children, acknowledge and reflect their feelings, and allow them to work out the problem on their own. Not surprisingly, I’m experiencing my own discomfort in the process.
What do you think of a parent (and parent coach) who admits having difficulty withholding judgment with her children? Here’s the thing. My kids get things done, just not always in the way that I believe is best. My challenge here has as much to do with standing back and allowing them to do it “their way” as it does with passing judgment. Here is where those intentions for my personal transformation come in – Calm, Patience, Honesty. Fortunately, transformation takes time. I will continue to focus on this and allow myself the time to improve.
The final element of this assignment was to identify what qualities I’d like my grown-up children to possess in their way of being with themselves and others. My hope for my children is that, through our common experience of conscious parenting, they will embody Genuineness, Confidence, Compassion, Capability, Openness to the Opinions of Others, and Practicing Self-care. We’re not there yet, it is a journey after all, but we’re well on our way.
Do you feel called to consider your way of BEING with your children and others? Would you like to set intentions for your transformation as a parent? If so, I’d love to work with you. Please reach out and let’s schedule a free discovery session.
Carolyn
carolyn@nathanswaypoint.com